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My Cheating Husband Is Killing My Soul!

October 19, 2009

Dear Dr. Lulzington,

I am a 33-year-old married mother of two. My husband, “Ron”, and I were high school sweethearts and have been married for fourteen years. Our relationship has always been loving, deep, and profound, but I recently found out that Ron has been cheating on me with our next-door neighbor!

I have not confronted him yet, as I still love him and do not want to lose him. However, this whole experience has left me feeling dead inside. I feel like my entire world is collapsing around me. I want my husband at home with his family where he belongs! Help!

—Slighted in San Antonio

Dear Slighted,

It doesn’t surprise me that you still want to be with your husband. After all, this is the 21st century, and cheating is no longer a death sentence for a marriage. Good for you for wanting to stick it out! However, it’s most definitely not right for Ron to cheat on you if it’s making you feel this way.

If you don’t like conflict, Dr. Lulzington has some words for you: Don’t get mad – get even!!! What I’m getting at is, is that as a man, I know what makes men tick. I also get a perverted enjoyment in seeing other men emasculated. If you want to keep your man, grab him by the balls, yank hard, and don’t let go!

Look, you have some valuable information in your hands. You know that your husband is cheating and who he is cheating with. Are they having sex in your home? Your neighbor’s home? If you have access to their chosen den of perversions, set up a digital camera where they can’t see it, but it can see them. Film them doing their dirty deeds. Then, go to the Internet and find all of the X-rated versions of YouTube that you can, and upload the video to those sites. Email copies to their bosses, their parents, their grandparents, and anyone else who they wouldn’t want to have see them in the act of sex.

Once Ron and the whore next door find out about it all and trace it back to you, then you’ve got them exactly where you want them. Offer to take down the videos if the whore agrees to leave the country and Ron agrees not to stray anymore, which he probably won’t after learning his lesson the hard way.

Good luck, and be sure to send me a link to the video! Dr. Lulzington loves makeshift amateur porn!


From → Family, Relationships

One Comment
  1. Anonymous permalink

    loss the gosh darn weight and get a fucking job u loser. Also maybe if u quit playing I can put that in me and tighten the cunt and ass up and swallow he might come back

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