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My Boss Sucks And Must Be Destroyed!

October 27, 2009

Dear Dr. Lulzington,

In a nutshell, I hate my boss, “Annette”, because she is out to destroy us all. We were hired at the same time, but she was promoted over me despite the fact that I am a much better worker (I can’t prove it, but we’re all pretty sure she slept with the CEO). Now that she’s been promoted, she’s trying to suck the whole department into office politics and turn us against each other. She actually had the gall to get one of my colleagues to spy for her!!! She’s also beginning to nit-pick at some of the people she wants out of here, and now I’m one of them!

Dr. Lulzington, what can I do about this? If I went over Annette’s head to her manager, I’d be dead meat. How do I tame this scary hose beast?

—Screwed in Sacramento

Dear Screwed,

Hey, I think I know Annette! The first thing you can do is laugh at the fact that if she did sleep with the CEO, then the CEO definitely had the same raging case of the clap that Dr. L had!

Enough about Dr. Lulzington, though. He knows that Annette has some serious issues, so knocking her down a peg or two is going to take a lot of work.

What you’re going to have to do is beat her at her own control-freak, venereal-disease ridden game. Start by going into her office and telling her how you’ve seen the light, that she is a fantastic boss, and volunteer to spy for her. Then, make up complete lies about everybody. You see, at the end of the day, she is responsible for her actions if she messes with/fires the wrong people for the wrong things. Eventually, her superiors will realize that she’s gone batshit and throw her out on her ass. That paves the way for you to take her old position. Problem solved!

Do you have any trusted co-conspirators? Put them up to the same task! Just make sure they aren’t sluts who want Annette’s job more than you do.

Good luck, and tell Annette that Dr. L. says that he took care of it, and the burn went away. She’ll know what I mean. 😉


From → humor, Work

  1. should I fake a cancer case,or some horrific disease, to get more money from my asshole millionare bosses?

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