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Update: My Drunk, Stoner Boyfriend Can’t Get It Up!

November 8, 2009

Dear Dr. Lulzington,

THANK YOU SO MUCH! I WROTE YOU A LETTER A FEW WEEKS AGO ABOUT HOW MY BOYFRIEND’S JUNK DIDN’T WORK BECAUSE HE DRANK AND SMOKED TOO MUCH POT! YOU TOLD ME TO GET SOME VIAGRA AND JOIN IN, AND THAT’S WHAT I DID!!!! WE F*** ALL NIGHT AND DAY AND IT’S BETTER NOW THAT WE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE METH. METH RULES!!!!!

—TWEAKED AND HORNY

Dear Tweaked,

Congratulations! It makes Dr. Lulzington so happy when he can make a positive change in someone’s life. Let me offer some more words of wisdom: all caps hurt the eyes.

Are you holding, by any chance? ‘Cause I’m dry and my connection’s in jail.

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