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I’m A 32-Year-Old Virgin!

November 16, 2009

Dear Dr. Lulzington,

I am a 32-year-old woman who desperately needs to get laid. The reason why I haven’t (ever) is because I just don’t have any confidence around men. Physically, I’m no Megan Fox, but I’m certainly not ugly – just plain.

I’ve been waiting for the right guy, but that doesn’t help when I’m too shy to even formulate a sentence when a man is around. I’ll settle for anyone at this point. I just want to get it over with. Help!

—Aging Virgin In Virginia

—Dear Aging Virgin,

Dr. Lulzington is amazed that your loins have remained untouched for so long. He sees someone who has painted a picture of herself as average with low self-esteem. Guess what? That’s Dr. Lulzington’s type! Get over here so that Dr. L can make you feel beautiful – or like a piece of garbage if that’s what your fantasy is.


From → humor, Sex

  1. NikkiM1976 permalink

    Dr Lulzington, you’re such a whore.
    But the good kind of whore that everyone loves (Pretty Woman!)…not the annoying kind of whore like Adam Lambert.

  2. Anonymous permalink

    I wil help you il doit nais n ease the way you loveit I’m clean i like to take my time

  3. Anonymous permalink

    Come to Hawaii and I will make you feel really great. I will wine you , dine you and more than just 69 you . I love giving nude massages and sucking on tits and eating pussy for long periods ( no pun inteded ) of time . Hit me up at and if you get out my way I will be able to help you out . I do prefer bigger full figure women but if not thats all good to.

  4. Localboy In Honolulu permalink

    If you ever make it to Hawaii look me up and I will show you some Hawaiian Aloha and give you what you need. All you have to do is E-Mail for a great nude body massage , lots of erotic oral , and away we go . I love bigger women but if not thats ok .

  5. What do you look like?

    • Dr. Lulzington is hot as fucking hell, what do you think?

      Oh, you were talking to the virgin.

      • On the whole confidence thing, I can kinda see where you’re coming from. Still it doesn’t matter if you’re Megan Fox or not. If you are a good relationship and you like/love the guy go for it.

  6. NikkiM1976 permalink

    People are retarded.

    Elementary, my dear Dr Lulzington.

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