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Does Breast Size Matter?

November 19, 2009

Dear Dr. Lulzington,

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years, and he seems to have developed this big breast fetish. Unfortunately, I’m just a 34B, so he’s been dropping not-so-subtle hints that he would pay for me to get a breast enlargement. It’s not about the money (I’m a junior partner at a prestigious law firm, so I can easily afford one myself) – I’m just not sure I want to have surgery for someone. My breast size has never been an issue before, not to myself or anyone else (I think they’re pretty nice). Should I just go through with it? If not, how do I tell him to drop it?

—Perfectly Average in Atlanta

—Dear Perfectly Average,

This is a tough one, as Dr. Lulzington rarely hears from such classy women as yourself. Obviously, you are well-educated, independent, and comfortable in your own skin.

Why not loosen up a little? As Dr. Lulzington always says, “The bigger, the better”. Make ’em so big that he won’t believe his eyes. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

If you’re worried about how this may effect your professional life, don’t. While Dr. L firmly believes in M/F/T gender equality, the fact is that it’s still a man’s world out there. You can get a man to do or agree to just about anything, because they don’t want to acknowledge that they weren’t listening to whatever you were saying. You’ll know by the intense eye-breast contact they’re giving you.

Don’t forget to show a little cleavage! And if the plastic surgeon botches the operation, don’t worry. Dr. Lulzington loves that, and will give you and ‘the twins’  the attention you they deserve.

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From → humor, Relationships, Work

6 Comments
  1. JustMe permalink

    This time it is your breast. What is it going to be tomorrow. I do not think you should alter your appearance for a man. If you are happy with what you have, then leave it alone.

  2. Anonymous permalink

    dont do it

  3. Anonymous permalink

    just want to say that from this mans point of view if you do it because he wants you to Thats for the wrong reasons DONT DO IT I myself perfer small breasts on a woman and you having B-cups are the perfect size dont give up the sensitivity in your breasts by making them larger with implants

  4. anonymous permalink

    Anything more than a mouthful is a waste.
    If you’re satisfied with what you have, that’s good enough. Victoria Secret sells bra’s that will push you up.
    Don’t let your other half tell you what they would like. God made you beautiful. Stay that way.

    • Do not change it for the guy and then regret it if he dumps you. Be happy with what’cha got and tell him to screw of if he doesn’t like it.

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