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My Girlfriend Is A Man!

December 1, 2009

Dear Dr. Lulzington,

I just got the biggest shocker of my life. I’m a heterosexual 31-year-old male. Last week, my girlfriend brought me to the Jerry Springer show to tell me on national television that she’s really a pre-op transsexual! So she’s female on top and male on the bottom. I had no idea because she always insisted on having sex with her skirt on and guiding me in.

I was shocked, and of course told her it was over, but now I’m not so sure. I mean, she passes for a woman. She has a beautiful face with chiseled features, long legs, and gorgeous, big breasts! I love her, and I can’t quit her.

I figured you of all people would understand. Am I still straight?

—Confused in Colorado

—Dear Confused,

What is there to be confused about? Here are some words of wisdom: T-girls are girls, too! Sure, she still has a penis, but that probably isn’t forever. Take it from Chandler Bing from the hit TV series “Friends”:

Okay, so maybe that’s a horrible way to pick up a lesbian (though being a woman may help), but it might not be a bad philosophy when it comes to your own relationship.

Dr. Lulzington hopes he was helpful. If not, write back with your T-girl’s number. Dr. Lulzington would be happy to soften the blow should you end the relationship.

DISCLAIMER

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From → humor, Relationships, Sex

3 Comments
  1. Dr. Lulzington will have whatever it is you’re having, unraveled. 😉

  2. Smartie permalink

    Translation?

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