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I Have A Cyber Stalker!

December 2, 2009

Dear Dr. Lulzington,

Help me! I met this person online about a year ago, let’s call him “Steve”. We chatted a few times and he seemed pretty cool. His behavior changed after I suggested we meet for coffee, an invite which he never answered. He started leaving me strange messages on my Twitter, MySpace, and Facebook accounts. I think he was trying to be funny, but he came off as creepy, so I stopped communicating with him. But now I can’t get rid of him! Sure, I can block him from my social networking accounts, but he just makes new accounts and re-stalks me online. I tried telling him that he is not in the least bit amusing, but it only seems to fuel the fire.

This is so annoying! What do I do?

—Stalked in SoCal

—Dear Stalked,

Yours is a problem that Dr. Lulzington himself once had! You see, Dr. Lulzington likes to spend time online cruising lovely ladies, men, and sometimes those who are in transition. Dr. L believes the circumstances were similar, but since he was in a nitrous haze at the time, the details escape him.

However, Dr L. does remember that this person was shifty and elusive. Later, he did some research, and discovered that this person was a complete fabrication! The gorgeous young woman he was conversing with turned out to be some creepy old guy. Not that Dr L. was any less attracted, but he hates fake people. Dr. L called the creepy guy out on his obviously mental behavior…then he gave him some very personal therapy sessions. 😉

Just send a message saying, “I know who you REALLY are!”. Trust me, “Steve” will scramble like an egg around a fork.

Good luck – and be careful of strangers online!

  1. NikkiM1976 permalink

    Poor Unraveled. With all the #vagina on boobies too?

  2. Erycka permalink

    Be careful though! Some disturbed whores can’t help themselves but milk you for money by luring you with racy pics. So don’t give out any personal info.

  3. part_sabrina permalink

    If I wasn’t a fat hairy 50-year-old dude pretending to be a young, beautiful lesbian, this would be funny to me.

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