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My Co-Worker Is A Rude Cow!

December 17, 2009

Dear Dr. Lulzington,

I work with a woman who in general is a rude cow who is oblivious to anyone else’s needs. She is incredibly pushy and thinks the world revolves around her. She butts into other people’s conversations, has screaming matches with the ex husband on the phone in front of everyone all the time, yells at her kids via the phone in the office too, demands everyone does her bidding at the drop of a hat and is an all round bitch.

My question to you; should I scream at her volume to STFU, or will the single finger salute be sufficient?

—Sick Of Her

—Dear Sick Of Her,

Dr. Lulzington wants you to know that it’s perfectly natural to feel the way you do. Your co-worker sounds like a real mess!

However, there’s no need for you to lower yourself to her level of rudeness. The only way to beat this is to be even ruder! Get some barbiturates, or possibly Ecstasy. Crush it up and put it in her coffee or tea when nobody’s looking. Trust Dr. Lulzington, your co-worker will be in a wonderful mood all day! And if that doesn’t work, take ’em yourself.

Good luck and happy drugging!

Disclaimer

I am a humorist, not a doctor (though I do impersonate one in this column). I’m not even a peer counselor. This is simply my concept of what an advice column would look like if it was run by a morally bankrupt quack psychologist. Any advice given on this site is to be taken at your own risk, or better yet, not taken at all. I am not responsible if you are crazy enough to think that Dr. Lulzington can solve your problems. He will probably make them far, far worse.

You may have fun imagining what would happen, though.

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From → humor, Work

3 Comments
  1. Smartie permalink

    I vote some laxettes and make her a lovely gift basket of home made chocolates 🙂

    • NikkiM1976 permalink

      HAHA!!! I hope her office is by the bathroom!

  2. Marianne Murray permalink

    Off topic but does your dealer live in the Southeast? Just wanted to know for no reason at all so don’t go thinking I do drugs or anything. Drugs kill and are horrible but sometimes a person goes a little crazy and needs to calm the voices in their head down that go on and on until you wanna cut someone or yourself. Cone on Doc give a gal a break. You took the Hippocratic or is it Hypocratic oath. Gotta go and paint three rooms in my house.

    Oh yeah what was the story about. Oh I remember. He should flip her off AND tell her to STFU (after the drugs kick in).

    TaTa

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