Skip to content

Why Bother With New Year’s?

December 31, 2009

Dear Dr. Lulzington,

Why bother with this New Year’s Eve bullcrap? I read a lot of alternative news, and I can tell you that in 2010, we’re done for. All countries will be engaging in nuclear war with each other. Gold will be the only accepted currency anywhere. America will be dissolved and taken over by the governments of China, Mexico, Canada, Russia, and the European Union,  and aliens are coming to eat everyone. Why would anyone want to celebrate a year of destruction?

—Gloomy and Doomy

—Dear Gloomy and Doomy,

Dr. Lulzington sees that someone has been wearing his tinfoil hat! Please be rest assured that most of what you are reading is simply very entertaining fiction.

Follow one of these sites for a few months or even a few years…notice how all predictions end up in epic fail.

Even if 2010 turns out to suck, only a few countries have nukes, anyway. And hey, good things could happen in 2010 as well. California voting to decide if they should legalize pot, for example.

Now, please excuse Dr. Lulzington. His New Year’s Resolution is to move to California. Happy New Year and take off the damn tinfoil hat.

Disclaimer

I am a humorist, not a doctor (though I do impersonate one in this column). I’m not even a peer counselor. This is simply my concept of what an advice column would look like if it was run by a morally bankrupt quack psychologist. Any advice given on this site is to be taken at your own risk, or better yet, not taken at all. I am not responsible if you are crazy enough to think that Dr. Lulzington can solve your problems. He will probably make them far, far worse.

You may have fun imagining what would happen, though.

Advertisements

From → humor

One Comment

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Twitted by drlulzington

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: